Canadian Wedding Crashers!
Ari picked us up very early. Equipped with our boxed breakfast of fried egg sandwiches and potato fries (I kid you not) and dressed in our cleanest travel clothes, we headed east to Ari's village an hour away. Today was special because we had been invited to attend his friend's wedding! Really. We were invited to attend a Balinese wedding!!
This a photo of the morning market in Ari's village where we stopped to purchase some gifts for the wedding. 
We arrived at his parents house and met his father, his 7 month pregnant wife and his brother (later his sister). Ari and his wife, Kumon, helped us to dress in the traditional sarong and clothing for festivals and celebrations. The men's clothes involve several layers and are quite elaborately prepared and tied. The male of he species is then topped off with the traditional head gear called an udeng, of which I am now a very proud owner!
The way it worked is that the groom drove by Ari's parents place and called out that it was time to go. We followed in Ari's car and when we arrived in the village, the city elder (Ari's cousin) was picked up by the groom's family. We then followed them along the back roads to the bride's village.
We gathered with the men who were all dressed as snazzy as I was and watched as the women led the way into the temple carrying the items required for the ceremony...
And then we joined the walk to the temple...
At first our presence seemed to create something of a distraction, a couriosity. But as everyone became a bit more use to us they began to settle in. It was clear that tourists were never seen in this village or Ari's village for that matter. A real novelty.
The village elders and senior men sit up on the raised platform cross legged and usually smoking. 
And then the priests (one from each village) set up their table of gifts and offerings...and prepare for the ceremony.
At some point the wedding begins...the moment when it started wasn't very clear to us novices. However it seemed to open with tea, coffee and sweet cakes being passed first to the senior men 
The bride and groom are present throughout. There is no grand entrance.
Nervous groom on the right. This is the single most important event in their lives. Divorce is rare, so this is pretty much for keeps...you hope to get it right.
The elders and fathers of the bride and groom begin to chat and exchange pleasantries while they enjoy refreshment and share cigarettes. Then the serious negotiations begin. In this case there is a small problem...about three months old.
This couple have recently become parents and a resolution must be reached to satisfy the parents of the bride, and also the community because a young woman is being taken from their village. So actually, two problems. A settlement is agreed upon, in this case 100,000 rupia, the equivalent of $10 paid to the village. If you read Annemarie's cultural blog posting you will recall that this represents a fairly large payment, but we were told that it could have been higher. The groom's family are not at all wealthy. Then the speeches begin and go back and forth between the elders and both families, each 'side' taking turns in rotation.
In the mean time the guests become a bit distracted...wandering in and out of the temple courtyard.
The happy couple!
With the wedding ceremony concluded, Ari walked us through the village showing off his Canadians to the locals...most of whom weren't frankly too interested! 
We reconnected with his sister who at 21 years is studying to become a nurse...
And then it was off to the groom's parents place for the party! Those are the traditional gifts of rice and sugar cane Ari is holding. We presented an envelop with money that was graciously accepted.
We were very nicely welcomed and Geoff quickly became the official photographer as they just didn't have a camera even on their phones. So I was it. No pressure! No matter what I tried the bride wouldn't smile, but we later learned this is normal, but she was very pleased when she found out that I would be sending all the photos to Ari who will arrange prints for them. Nice.
We were given the keys to the house and moved freely around the very humble dwelling. Every corner and room I passed around and into I was graciously received and usually my arrival generated much discussion and laughter. I thought I was pretty well dressed? Truly nicely received. Such warm people the Balinese. This is the kitchen.
The temporary kitchen set up for the party. 
I immediately hit it off with this lady and was introduced to her two boys, who soon smiled when I showed them their photo!
This is the primary chef in the village...remember him as I think he will show up again tomorrow on our next outing:-)
Mean while, I returned to find that many of the local women has approached Annemarie and of course she connected nicely with their children.
Our connection with Ari has become personal, not so much about his driver business. He wasn't asking to be paid for today. It was more about sharing a Baliese experience as we had expressed our interest very early on about his culture. Of course we chipped in to cover the petrol cost and 'incidentals' and he was pretty pleased about that. We have since read that the opportunity to be invited to an Indonesian wedding is very rare, and that if you are invited it is considered an honour. One of those times when we were in the right place at the right time and we're open to an opportunity.
I know this is a very long post, but the day was truly special. Besides its my travel journal;-) Open moments like this have defined my first year of life after ending formal work. That year fully arrives in just 4 days. Amazing... I wonder what could possibly top the amazing experiences we have had on this journey? I'm very open to finding out...
1 comment:
Does that photograph of the bride help to explain the groom's nervousness?
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